From March 2019. This shit always happens to me at night. I wear her jewellery, her sweaters, her pajamas, her socks, her slippers. I’ve decided there is one sweater I’m just never going to wash so that it always smells… Continue reading

From February 2019. Embrace Life. This is the sign that came tonight. A day after I shared with a fellow at work who just lost his best friend to suicide that the best way I’ve found, so far, to cope… Continue reading

From February 2019. “I’m not afraid to die,” she said. “You’re not? That’s good to know. It actually makes me feel so much better to know that.” “No, I’m not. I know that everyone has to die sometime,” she said,… Continue reading

From January 2019. A thought stabs up, ripping through me. It’s really going to happen.  I’ve never pretended that my mother wasn’t going to die from this. From cancer. From creation gone wild. But it’s closer now than I ever… Continue reading

From January 2019. My mother has the most beautiful handwriting. A beautiful signature. All my life it has been one of her hallmarks. It is not lost on me that the last thing she will ever sign — a Do… Continue reading

From December 2018. The ever-churning swirl that is my brain won’t let me sleep tonight. Even the dog is pissed off with all my tossing and turning. God, I love him. I suppose this happens to people all the time,… Continue reading

Another day at the cancer hospital getting a reality check. And signing up for Round 5. Mom: Look at all the people in here today again. There are just so many people with cancer. Old people. Young people. Cancer sure… Continue reading

Years ago, I read a memoir called “Lit” by Mary Karr. As you can imagine, it’s about getting drunk. And sober. It’s about becoming a mother by letting go of a mother. And learning to write by learning how to… Continue reading